{Fanfiction} Perfect

Ohno smiled. He would start his day perfectly like the other day he did. He put on his fishing jacket, his boots were done, and his fishing rod was ready on his side.

Ever since he finished his latest drama, he fished like there’s no tomorrow. Cause well, he would never know when would he get this kind of free time anymore. Even with Arashi’s busy schedule, it’s already hard for him to find time to go fish. He didn’t know what would it be if he got another solo project.

“This time, GT. Wait for me,” he declared silently. That fish, so hard to catch. But he didn’t care if he had to stay awake for 25 hours again, or if he had to eat nothing, or if he had to be scolded by the ship captain, or if—


Ohno lifted his head, and he found Nino’s grumpy face in front of his door.

“Ah, Kazu.” Ohno smiled his lost puppy’s smile.

“Where are you going?” Nino asked suspiciously.

“Ah, I’m going to Yokohama,” he answered cheerfully. Seriously, people wouldn’t believe that this guy is reaching his 29th birthday. What’s with that smile and puffy cheek and all.

“May I remind you that you were scolded this week because of that tan AGAIN? You still want another scolding?” Nino kept talking while eyeing the old man who suddenly fell silent for a while.

“Well, I guess I can still go if this tan doesn’t get worse.. Look, I bring a hat and also a sunblock now,” he opened his bag and showed Nino the protection kits.

Nino took a deep breath. This man.. he thought to himself. He took  a seat beside him.

“You’re such a crazy man when it comes to fishing,” Nino declared, still eyeing the older man. “We will take a lot of jobs to keep us busy, and that will refrain you from fishing.”

Ohno went blank. “But.. I want to fish..,” he pouted a bit, and Nino had to resist the urge to kiss those pouty lips right there.

Nino smirked, “Fine,” he finally said. “Now, let’s go find you something warmer. If you’re going to fish for another 25 hours, the least thing that we want to happen is you losing your voice, besides your horrible tan.”

“Eh? But I think it’s already warm enough for me–” Ohno looked at his clothes.

“Not warm enough, okay?” Nino cut his words and dragged him back to his room.


But Nino didn’t stop until both of them sitting on Ohno’s bed. Nino started shuffling Ohno’s wardrobe while the older man kept silent and wondering when he can start fishing. He’s itching to get that GT… he wanted to catch that fish.. he wanted..

“Do you remember what day is it tomorrow?” Nino asked while grabbing a thick jacket and a big scarf from the top shelf of Ohno’s wardrobe.

“Oh… um.. my birthday?” Of course he remembers his own birthday, and Arashi already have a plan for his birthday. They will go for a drink after work, and that’s .. pretty much all of it.


Then silence again. Which was weird for Ohno cause Nino rarely kept his mouth shut..  but no one can predict Nino either.

“Can I give you my gift now?” suddenly Nino’s voice appeared again.

“Eh?” Ohno looked at Nino’s back. He had stopped shuffling Ohno’s wardrobe and stood motionlessly in front of the wardrobe. “What gift?”

“Your birthday gift, of course,” now Nino walked towards him, he saw him holding a big thing wrapped with blue paper and some yellow ribbons as decoration.

“Ehhh~ thanks,” Ohno answered sheepishly. He wondered, what is Nino going to give him this year…?

“Here,” Nino handed the present. And Ohno opened it, tried to be careful not to spoil the wrapping paper too much.

And failed.

Ohno smiled bitterly seeing how the wrapping paper now torn badly. But Nino only laughed.

When the gift had opened perfectly, Ohno was puzzled to see what’s inside : a set of fishing suit, a fishing rod, fishing boot, a cap, and some sun-block. He looked at Nino questioningly.

“By the way, they are not exactly for you.. they’re for me, actually,” Nino answered Ohno’s silent question.

“For you?” Ohno asked again.

“So you can get me go fishing with you.”

Ohno was surprised. “But with your sea-sicknes—“

“It’s not fair that Sho-san have gone fishing with you, and Jun-kun had gone with you too,” Nino cut off Ohno’s words again. “If it’s only sea-sick, I think I am going to be able to handle it.”

Another long silence. Ohno didn’t really know what to say, partly because he never a talker, and because… for Nino to go this far.. it was…

“I know what you are thinking,” Nino’s voice finally broke the silence. “I will never be a crazy fisherman like you, don’t expect me to be like you, okay? I am not willing to get my skin as tanned as you, and I won’t be able to handle 25 hours non-stop of fishing. But…”

Ohno waited.

“I think.. I want to try that world that sucked you in. Maybe.. I can understand it more. And …oh what the hell, I just want to spend more time with you, okay?” Nino gave up finally.

Ohno smiled again.

“Sure, you can go with me today,” Ohno said cheerfully.

Nino smiled too. “I hope they fit me though. I didn’t really pay attention to the size. Aiba-kun chose them for me. I didn’t even know if they—“

“They will fit you, Kazu,” it was Ohno cutting off Nino’s words. Nino looked at the older man’s face. That face was shining.

“Thank you for the birthday present,” Ohno said. “It was perfect.”

As perfect as you, Nino whispered softly.

“What did you say?”

Nino shook his head. “Nothing.”

“Let’s go then! GT is waiting for us!”

A perfect day. Such a perfect day.

{Fanfiction} Always

Sho/Ohno; Always


Ohno snuggled a bit hearing his name mentioned. He opened his eyes a bit, and he found a pair of eyes staring at him.

“Sho-kun? What time is it now?”

“It’s.. almost 3 am.”

“Why didn’t you sleep?”

“I.. can’t”

“You can’t?”

Sho shook his head.

Ohno straightened his body. They had just finished the last day of concerts a few hours ago, and Aiba had suggested that they throw a small party with just the five of them.

But they didn’t have a real party because they were pretty much too exhausted. Aiba was the first one to fall asleep, followed by Ohno who had no idea what had happened after he fell asleep.

“Satoshi-kun, have you ever thought about the future?” his voice getting softer.


“Yeah.. like, marriage, kids, or… if we’re not with Arashi anymore.. those kind of things..”

Ohno blinked and fell silent for a while.

“Marriage, yes. Kids… maybe no…,” he answered slowly. “But, I never seriously think about the last thing..”

“Why?” Sho looked puzzled.

Ohno didn’t answer for a while. “Because…,” he tried to find the right words. “It doesn’t matter too much for me, whether we’re in Arashi or not..”

“Why?” Sho asked again.

“What matters the most is that we’re together, I think..,” he scratched the back of his head. “And that.. I think will always be like that..”

Sho smiled a little. “Always?”

“I think so. We can always ask Aiba-chan to make a small gathering every week later.”

“Every week?” Sho chuckled.

“Okay, maybe once every month….”

“Like having a barbeque?”


“Aiba-chan will love it.”



And Sho just realized that the older man had already fallen asleep… again.

{Fanfiction} Lost You For A While

Title: Lost You For A While
Author: itsmysunshine
Pairing: H/G
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1332
Summary/Prompt: Something you lost might turn up soon.
Notes: Written for the Fortune Cookie Challenge at  hpgw_otp.

4th year

Ginny Weasley would never ever forgive herself for listening to Hermione.


Ginny lifted up her face. Hermione looked at her with such concern that started to make her feel sick.

“Are you okay there?” she asked again, her hand brushed Ginny’s hair. Their homeworks laid open on the table, being forgotten.

“Sure,” Ginny tried to compose herself. Why should this news shocked her? It’s not that new that Harry liked Cho. Cho Chang.  The beautiful Cho Chang. The gorgeous Cho Chang. Why should this news of Harry kissing her –finally- hurt her this much?

She felt disgusted. That girl was nothing. She only liked Harry because Harry resembled Cedrig in some ways. Heh. Aside being a Quidditch player.

“First of all, you’re not okay if you say ‘okay’ with a face like that,” Hermione declared with her usual tone of “I know exactly what you’re thinking”. She closed her homework and looked at Ginny intently.

“And you’re getting nowhere, Hermione. Stop confronting me about Harry, I have a life that I have to live the best I can instead of spending my time thinking about him,” Ginny closed her own parchment. She felt very tired suddenly, and this homework from Prof Binns can wait until tomorrow. At least.

“I wasn’t confronting you, Ginny. I just tried to make you see that Harry moved on. And you have to do that too,” Hermione watched while Ginny took all her belongings in a hurry.

“Okay, you got your point there. And just for you know, I am moving on,” Ginny still could felt the anger in her voice.  She really hated when Hermione commanded her what to do.

“Yeah sure. You and Michael Corner.  You can fool everyone that you’re happy with him, and you can always tell me to pretend to everyone that you’re that happy with him. But you know that this is not what you call ‘moving on’,” Hermione packed her things too and then tried to match Ginny’s steps. “You’re not in love with him, and I can still see you’re blushing red secretly everytime Harry is around.”

“Thanks for the heads up, Hermione. I know what’s best for me,” Ginny ran hurriedly through the stairs and leaving Hermione behind. She needed to be alone. And she really felt that she was all alone.


She cried. That’s not new. She’d been cried for Harry before. What’s the different now?

Of course now it’s very different. She wasn’t the 10-years-old Ginny who was desperately in love with Harry. Well, except for the fact that she was still in love with him. Five years almost passed, and she’s still dreaming about having him.

Michael Corner was not really helping her forgetting Harry. Sure, he was very nice, kind, and all. His kisses were good, their dates were smooth. In fact, often she thought that she has finally given up on Harry, thanks to Michael.

But she didn’t seem to be able to suppress the happiness glowing in her heart everytime she talked to Harry. She learnt her lesson; Hermione told her to just be herself, relax a bit in front of Harry. Her face could do that, but her heart couldn’t.

She hated when Hermione was right. And she hated it even more because she realized it even earlier than Hermione did.

But Harry liked Cho. And he kissed her. There was no Ginny Weasley in his eyes, only Ron’s little sister. His best friend’s little sister.

I’ve lost him. Accept that fact, Ginny Weasley.


“Hey Ginny.”

Ginny stopped talking to Michael for a while. They just headed to the main entrance of the castle. But she had to stop. She recognized that voice. She knew that voice very well. And she longed for the owner of that voice to be hers.

“Hey Harry,” Ginny smiled. Not her honest smile, but at least it’s properly aligned on her face and not a silly nervous smile like she used to wear. She’s getting used with acting like this.

“Going to Hogsmeade?” Harry smiled a little, noticing her entwined hands with Michael’s. His expression went sad.

“Yeah, we thought we want some Butterbeer,” Ginny answered cheerfully. That was getting easier and easier.

“Great,” Harry’s voice sounded grim. “Well… have fun, I guess.”

“Hopefully. And you have to do that too, Harry. You look and sound like a mess,” Ginny said blatantly, hoping to sound relax.

Harry didn’t answer. He just went away.

“Geez, he really looks so depressed, doesn’t he?” Michael commented while Ginny tried to figure out in her mind what’s going on with him. “Well, guess he could do better than Cho, even though she is not bad at all.”

“What are you talking about?” Ginny demanded.

“Oh you don’t expect him to date Cho anymore after that incident with Marietta, right?” Michael laughed a little. “Too bad, she is quite good looking and a quite good Quidditch player too.”

“Yeah, bet she’s better than you,” Ginny teased him and laughed. “I beat her anyway.”

Michael’s face went red. “Ginny, just because Gryffindor beat Ravenclaw, doesn’t mean that you’re a better player than me,” he said hard.

“Oh come on Michael. Stop whining about that,” Ginny sighed. She’s getting tired with this kind of conversation. “And I didn’t say that I’m better than you,”

“You meant that.”

“No I didn’t!” Ginny started to feel pissed off.

“You said that she is better than me. And you said you beat her. So that means you’re better than me, doesn’t it?”

“Michael, I was just joking!”

“Didn’t sound like that for me.”

“Fine! I’m indeed better than you!” Ginny turned away and walked back to the castle. But just few steps, she turned again. She stared at Michael angrily.

“Just so you know, we’re done,” she said again, and then she left.

What a moron, he couldn’t even stop whining! I’m fed up with him!, Ginny screamed in her head.

Ginny walked to the dining room, and she saw Harry there,  alone. He stared at his soup absently.

A bit hesitant for a while, Ginny walked towards him. Honestly, she didn’t want to interrupt him, but something about his expression drew her.

“You don’t only look like a mess, but your food looks like a mess too,” Ginny commented from behind his back.

Harry turned his head. “Hey Gin, I thought you were going to Hogsmeade with Michael,” he replied slowly while turning his head again to his soup.

Ginny opened her mouth to tell him that she was not Michael anymore, but for some reasons, she felt like she didn’t have to. Not that time.

“Cancelled. Suddenly I wanted to just stay inside,” Ginny took a seat beside him.

Harry raised his eyebrow, looked curious. But he only shrugged, and back to his soup again.

“You know, you’re supposed to eat that,” Ginny said again. Harry didn’t answer.

“Is it about Cho?” Ginny asked, tried to sound casual. Harry still didn’t answer.

Ginny sighed. “You deserves better than her, Harry.”

This time, Harry looked at her with full attention. “Yeah, I guess,” he said sarcastically. “Who then?”

Ginny held his breath. His eyes locked at her, and so did hers. “Someone who lets you to be you, I think,” finally she managed to catch her breath. God, I hope he didn’t notice that. “And obviously, someone who won’t get jealous over Hermione.”

Harry’s expression went warm. “Hermione told you everything, didn’t she?” Harry guessed.

“Not everything,” Ginny laughed a bit. “Well, almost,” she corrected.

Harry laughed too.

“Thanks, Gin,” Harry finally smiled at her, his true smile. The smile that she’s longing for such a long time.

Ginny smiled back.


5th year.

He kissed her. And she kissed him back.

Well, I guess I did lose him for a while, Ginny said to herself. But at that time, Ginny Weasley thought that something that you lost might turn up to you eventually. And this just feels right.

{Fanfiction} James’ Birthday Gift

“Hermione, come on! We’ll be late if you’re not hurry!” said Ron from living room. Bloody hell, why do woman always have to be so slow whenever it comes to makeup and dress?, Ron muttered and looked so annoyed.

“Hermione!” Ron shouted even louder.

And still there’s no answer. Furiously, Ron took steps to the stairs. There’s no way he waited more longer. They’re already late for James’ 1st birthday party. And he didn’t even want to think about what his mother would said seeing them late again. Nor what Ginny would yelled. Gosh, I thought every woman will become more calm once they had their first child, Ron thought. But not with Ginny. She’s becoming more tempered nowadays. It’s always, “Ron, do not try to teach James anything dangerous!” or “Ron, please do not give him a chance to fly yet!”.

Heh, Ginny must’ve forgotten how his Harry behaved when he was one year old. Flying with the broomstick that Sirius gave him.

“Hermione, can you be more faster? I don’t want to—”

Ron didn’t finish his line as he saw his wife sitting on their bed. She was still using her bath robe. With her back on him, she didn’t seem to hear what Ron had said.

“Hermione, what’s wrong? How come you’re not dressed yet? You know Mum will yell at us if we’re late again. And you know Ginny, don’t you?” Ron walked to his wife. And Hermione still didn’t answer.

“Hermione?” now Ron was facing her. And he’s frightened to see his wife stunned. Her eyes fixed into something that she held loosely.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” Ron asked again. Now he knelt down beside Hermione. His hand brushed her cheeks softly. His movement caused a little reaction. Hermione looked into his face.


“What happened, dear?”

And without no words, tears fell into her cheeks. She held the thing that she kept at her hand into Ron. And confusing, Ron took what she gave.

“What’s this?” asked Ron.

Hermione gave a weak smile towards his husband. “It’s James’ birthday gift,” she answered.

“What? But we already gave him a set of encyclopedia you said we have to give him,” Ron asked again, looking at the thing that was in his hand, “And I didn’t forget to also gave him a set of Weasley’s newest products…”

Hermione frowned.

“Oh what’s the big deal? He’s not just a Potter, he’s also a Weasley.”

“Ronald Weasley, I’m not talking about books or some stupid things that you sent to him on his very first birthday, although I must tell you, those would make Ginny yelled at you even more.”

“Oh okay. I will cancel the owl,” Ron said. “Besides, I still can give him newest products when he grow up.”

Hermione frowned again.

“Okay okay,” Ron gave up. “Now may I know what is this?”

“It’s a pregnancy test.”


“It’s the thing that Muggle use when they want to check whether they’re pregnant or not,” Hermione explained. “And I just used it.”

Ron stoned at his place. He looked at his wife hesitantly. “So…you…,”

Hermione smiled. “We’re going to have a baby. Yes,” she smiled. And in Ron’s eyes, she’s glowing. Even more beatiful than she is.

“I…I….I’m going to be a Dad!” Ron almost screamed.

Hermione nodded. “Yes you are.”

“Oh bloody hell! I’m going to be a father!” Ron jumped just like a child. He’s running downstairs and soon enough Hermione could hear him yelling over the fernace, undoubtedly using Floo network, “Mum! Mum! No no, stop yelling! Listen listen, is everyone there??”

And she heard Mrs.Weasley answered, “Yes we are. And we want to know why you two are so late, Ronald?”

“I’M GOING TO BE A FATHER!” Ron screamed over the furnace. And then, Hermione heard everyone screaming.

She closed her eyes. And touched her stomach.

“Be here soon,” she whispered. “Your daddy’s down there, can’t wait to see you.”

{Fanfiction} At The Beach


Jun released Mao from his embrace. Her clothes were dump from the water.

Mao shivered. “Samui….,” she told while putting both of her hands on her sleeves. The wind blew quite hard even though it was a sunny day. She couldn’t believe how cold the weather was despite the beauty of the beach.

“What about me, then?” Jun smirked while ruffling his wet hair, and for a second, Mao thought that her heart stopped beating. “I have to swim again after this.. and the weather is not really helping right now..,” he told while looking at the sea. “How long do you think we’ll have to take this scene?”

Mao gulped. She couldn’t let her eyes stop wandering the scene in front of her. What’s with that chest being so perfect now? And she imagined when he hugged her just before.. The warm of his body, the husky voice of him, they all made her melted like a puddle inside.

“Inoue-san, you’re also wet,” a personal assistant approached her from behind, and Mao startled. “Kore, use this please.”

“Ah, arigatou,” Mao smiled while took the white thing from the PA’s hand. It was a bath robe.

Jun smiled again. “Put that on. I don’t want you to catch a cold.”. He put his hand on her hair and pat her head softly.

Mao looked at him. “How about you?”

“Hey I’m not that weak,” Jun laughed. Again, water dripping from his wet hair distracted Mao’s mind. “Seriously, put that on. You’re shivering, Mao.”


Jun sighed. Mao always like this. “ Here, let me do that.”


And before she realized, Jun took the bath robe from her hand, and wrapped it around her. He straightened the robe before looking at her face. He laughed a bit. Mao felt warm suddenly. And it was not only because of the bath robe.

“Feeling better?” he asked, while touching her hair slowly.

Mao nodded. She blushed a bit. It was a very lovely face. Jun lowered his head.

“White really suits you,” he whispered. “Can I ask you to wear that color on our next date?”

Mao punched him playfully. “You always take advantage of me,” she whispered back.

“But you love me, don’t you?” Jun kept playing with her hair.

Mao lifted her head. “I don’t have to answer that,” she replied. “And stop doing that with my hair, people would notice!”

“Yes you do have to answer,” Jun said. “And I do think people would notice, because I think just now I saw a camera flashed on us.”

“Oh no!” Mao gasped. This would be a trouble. Next the rumour would start, people would talk, and soon they would not be able to be together again. Mao cringed with the thought of that. She didn’t want that to happen. She wanted to be with him.

“Forget that for now, we will take care of that later,” Jun touched her cheeks. He didn’t really care about anything at that moment. He only saw Mao.

“Now what’s your answer?”

Mao smiled. Her blushing face made Jun fall in love again and again.

“Later. When I wear the white color that you like, on our date.”

“Inoue-san, Matsumoto-san, please get ready for the next take!”

{Fanfiction} きれい (Pretty)

Title : Kirei [Beautiful]
Author : itsmysunshine@LJ

Pairing : Naruse Ryo & Sakita Shiori

Rating : G

Word Count : 1,072

Disclaimer : None of them belongs to me.

Summary : Episode 8. Basically, it’s more of a summary? I don’t know what to call it..
Notes : I have to resist myself from crying to finish this *sigh*.

Why did I come here…

Naruse Ryo lived for revenge. He could do anything just for his revenge, including throwing away his true self.

He looked straight away. The library was very quite, and it was still very early. Why did I come here…, he asked again. There’s no way I..

He turned around abruptly. He must go. He couldn’t wait for..

And he stopped.  The slender figure that he was somehow longing for was standing there, smiling. For him. For a murderer.

She smiled. They walked towards each other.

“I’m.. very sorry if I surprised you the other day..,” he started, didn’t really know what to say.

She smiled again and shook her head, saying that it’s alright. He felt so warm inside, like the other day when he held her in his arms. Since when did she start to fill his heart with this gentleness?

“The cookies.. are delicious.” He said it honestly. They were very sweet, and they were filled with love. He did wonder if he really deserved them..

“Really? I’m glad!”. Those eyes were sparkling, and he felt a sudden urge to have those eyes looking only at him.

No, he said to himself. He must go now.

“Well, then..,” he started to walk away. He could feel her confused face looking at her. But that’s okay. It’s better to leave it as it was. So she could move on too. They should.

“Naruse-san!”. And just like that, he turned around again. For some reasons, he just couldn’t resist that voice.

She was holding something. And she asked that question, her voice trembled a bit.

“If it’s okay with you.. will you like to go with me..?”

Fireworks. Next Saturday. Should he go? But…

He looked around, being confused.  She realized that. Because those twinkles on her eyes were fading, and her voice was down. And he hated that. He hated to hear the disappointment on her voice, “I guess.. you will be busy..”

The next thing he knew, he said those words, “No.. I will be free.. on that day.”

And that face lightened again. Her lips formed another new smile.

And again, Naruse Ryou saw that other future where she would hold his hand. The other future that would only exists if he wasn’t a murderer.


Sakita Shiori watched her cell anxiously. People kept coming. Their faces were all happy. But no.. they were not faces that she had been waiting for. He will come, she wishfully thought. Naruse-san will come. She kept her smile. She paid attention more to her yukata and wondered if it was good enough. Yukata is more suitable for fireworks, right.. she thought to herself. Besides, she wanted to show him another side of her. Casual clothes won’t do that.

For a split second, she thought again about how he held her that other night. He was crying, yes. She didn’t know what happened. And it worried her . But somehow she was sure that someday he will told her. He will.

She smiled a bit. A hint of blush was there on her cheek. She waited again. For his prince to come.


The night was getting closer. The sun would soon be set. Naruse Ryo looked outside his window. Just another day of his revenge. Just few more people to die. Just few step closer to the end of everything.

End of everything.. he knew that he must end something today. He couldn’t stand it anymore. It had to end.


9.30 PM.

She bit her lips. Tried to resist the tears that were already on the verge of falling down.  He said he would come, didn’t he… she thought to herself.

The fireworks were over. People were gone one by one.  Looking at them, she sniffled. She turned around, ready to go home. It’s no use.. I should’ve known..


She turned her head again. She knew that voice. “Naruse-san?”

They were both looking at each other. And Shiori suddenly felt happy. You came…, she thought.

“I’m sorry.. I had sudden interview, and I couldn’t contact you…,” Ryou tried to explain. At least, for this one final moment, she deserved all the truth that he could give.

“I’m glad.. you came all this way..”

Ryou felt another pang of guilt. Why do you have to be so kind to me…, he asked himself. And another question, why do our paths have to cross now..

“Fireworks.. are over…,” he heard her saying those words. And he knew what he should do.

“Do you still have time?”


She had never seen such a beautiful fireworks in her whole life. And neither had he. Just the two of them being together, having their time with each other.

One by one of those fireworks were being lit up. And with each of them, her smile was growing wider. She was happy. And how she was hoping that this happiness would never end.

Naruse Ryou can’t lie to himself that he was also happy. No sad feelings, no feelings of killing someone for the sake of revenge. It was his heaven. He felt that the Lucifer inside of him was feeling God’s love once again. With this angel beside him.

Can they just stay like this forever? Can he just forget about all the sins and pain from all of these years? Can he have that beautiful future with her?

“Ah… this is the last one…”

He fell silent for a while, realizing that he was holding the last fireworks. The last final moment that he was going to have with her.

And the answer for all of his questions was no. He couldn’t stay with her. He couldn’t just throw away all of his sins. He was no longer Lucifer. He was Satan. And an angel like her wasn’t supposed to be with him. That beautiful future would not ever exist.

He lit the fireworks slowly. And as it was burnt, he watched her face.

Kirei….,” she said happily. She was glowing. For a while, he thought that he could see those wings around her. Her body was being wrapped with light which is not allowed to be stained by the dark.

He smiled. “Yes..”

The fireworks were indeed very pretty. But …

It was you, the prettiest of all, he told to himself.

And that’s why, you deserve all of the happiness in this world.

Shiori-san, sayounara.



It was nice to be appreciated for your hard work

Me, 2016

Back in 2014, I felt so hurt and unappreciated by some people that I thought care about me. It was a very toxic environment. So I decided to leave.

With Allah’s help, I started rebuilding my professional career with new mindset and environment.

I am blessed for what I have now.

23 months old

Hi, baby!

Opps, are you still a baby now that you’re 23 months old? 🙂

Yes, you’re just one months away from becoming 2. I won’t say again how fast time flies because it really does and I may sound like a broken record now.

Here are your milestones in case you want to rewind your childhood in a flash:

You LOVE singing

Especially alphabet song. You sing it like 20 times a day. And you will be so happy if people join and sing with you. Other songs that you really like are:

  • Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
  • The Lion and The Unicorn
  • Pelangi Pelangi
  • Bintang Kecil
  • Rainbow Song

You look so happy whenever you sing. Your big grin and happy voice really light up the house. I am pretty sure you get the gene from me :p

Colors are your new friend

I think it’s due to your love for Rainbow song. You’re now so in tune with colors. You know which one is red, green, etc. You even know which one is ‘pink’! But your favorite color is definitely purple. I can already sense it.

Bread is your food to go

It’s even something that you prefer rather than actual food. Haha. Forgive me for instilling this to you. I think it’s because you saw me eating bread every morning, and then you wanted to have a bite, and eventually now it’s becoming a routine for you to eat bread every morning.

You still love orange. I believe your love affair with orange is not going to end soon.

Brushing your teeth is something you hate

OK, honey. This is not good. I don’t want to have this kind of battle with you every morning of you screaming your lungs off when I show you your tooth brush. You have to brush your teeth every day!

Your vocabulary grows a lot!

Now it’s so easy for you to repeat anything that we say.

It’s difficult to keep track on your new words since you are absorbing everything so fast, but some of your new vocabularies are:

  • Lampu – lamp
  • Gewap – dark (you usually say this when we turn off the lamp before going to bed)
  • Cold
  • Woti – bread.
  • Kipas – fan
  • Banana
  • Train
  • etc

You don’t enjoy large crowd

Oh how much you resemble us. We know that it is only a phase, but right now you are comfortable with small circle. 1-2 friends are okay with you – you can still play and laugh with them. But once the crowd becomes bigger, you got so afraid that you stick to me like a mochi. Few times we brought you to a crowded playground and you didn’t even want to touch the floor. While when we bring you to the playground near the house with only few friends, you refuse to go back until you’re getting tired.

You start to love book

Loving book doesn’t come early for you. I admit, I was a little upset because I want you to love book – but then, who am I to dictate what you should like?

But this month, whenever I start reading book to you, you listen attentively and often you grab the book from me cause you want to see the pictures on your own. You are still not showing interest on your own, but it’s ok, honey. We’ll get there 🙂


It’s beyond amazing to see how you far you have grown. It reminds me that time is catching up – your characters start to show and I realize that soon we are going to have a boy in this house, not just a baby anymore :’)

I need to rant

When I was a kid, I often questioned and pitied myself for not being able to have whatever other kids had. They can go to any courses they wanted, while I needed to learn everything on my own. They can have fancy stationeries, while I needed to feel satisfied with what I could afford with my monthly allowance.

I know that it’s because my parents didn’t have as much money as theirs.

Don’t get me wrong. I was, am, and will forever thankful for what my parents had done. They moulded me into what I am now. They helped me stay grounded. They made me aware on what I should splurge on and what I should save money for. Heck, even some of their values are one of things I am gonna pass to Zal and his siblings.

But if there’s something I want them to tone down a bit is their drama attitude.

GOSH, it feels like I am dealing with teenage version of myself. All emotional and drama. Message not replied within 2 x 24 hours? Here comes a reply, “…are we disturbing you? Maybe this is only a small stuff for you, but for us it’s not… Sorry for always disturbing you…”

Basically, they will ride you with guilt.

COME ON. It’s not like I am forgetting about them. I have always tried to be a good kid, albeit I failed some times. I am always the one who complains the less! I have always been one since I was a kid. I know I am the oldest one, and I will be the one who’s responsible for my siblings in the future. That’s why I tried my best not to be a burden. My parents already have a lot on their plates, and the least I could do is not making them troubled.

And yet, it’s still not enough.

I am so tired.

On Sherlock Special 2016

Yeah. So on that. It has been two years that I had waited for this new special -whatever- anything that can give me my Benedict Sherlock fix. When the torrent was out earlier this morning, I went batshit crazy and couldn’t wait until we were finally home and watched it for our Saturday movie date.

It started great! Absolutely love Benedict and Martin in this 1800′s era setting. I even loved how they portrayed Mycroft to be slightly different than the Mycroft I love.

But then.

The Sherlock-ception started. And it went down and deep into the hill. Very fast.

By the time I was finished with it, I was like:


I waited for two years for this?

Ok, it’s a great script and all. But seriously, the inception-thingy is not really needed! Why can’t they just stick with this special being a… special? Why did they have to make it some sort of Sherlock’s mind game?

Urgh. It leaves a very bitter taste on my mouth. And when I found out that the next season will only start airing in 2017?


Seriously, BBC. No amount of Benedict and Martin can make me wait that long. Should I end our affair early?