I have a dream job that I never told anyone openly before. Although I love Math and science, I also love writing. And believe it or not – I once thought about being a journalist for a living because I love writing that much.
My parent – being a typical parent at that time – of course refused my idea. And I had no choice other than agreeing with them. It sounded realistic and I do love my Math and science anyway. I can still do writing as a hobby, that’s what I thought.
Fast forward to now, I still write sporadically, but of course it’s getting lesser and lesser. The quantity is not what is worrying me though – it’s the quality, or to be more melodramatic, it’s the soul.
My husband once said that I wrote like water. My writing was flowing and my readers loved my writing because they were being carried away with it (that sounds too pretentious, but believe me, I used to have readers).
Do you notice that I am using past tense all the time?
Because I myself no longer feel the soul in my writings. Maybe I write more words, my vocabulary is expanding, and my grammar is improving – but my writing is not interesting even for myself. There’s nothing bare in my writing – there’s nothing that I want to convey to people who read my writings other than bunch of information.
I am still trying to understand why I lost the mojo. Maybe it’s because I am getting older? Or maybe I am just becoming more jaded with what the world has becoming into? Or maybe I am just too tired dealing with daily life?