{Dream Series} I love you, but

Mia stared at the man standing not too far from her – her eyes were blank. The old man fell silent after he said these words to her.

“I made a mistake letting her go – many years back. I wish I told her how much I loved her and that I was willing to fight to be with her. “

Mia felt her eyes were swarmed with water. It hurt. It hurt so much that she didn’t know how to speak.

Do I want to suffer the same regret?, she asked herself.

“I won’t tell you what you should do,” the old man continued. “But if I could, I don’t want you to feel what I am feeling now.”

Mia blinked. She knew what to do.

She turned her back around and she dashed. To someone that she knew she didn’t want to let go.

***

Liam walked mindlessly at the airport. He had asked Sandy not to send him off – he said it’s fine but the truth is, perhaps he just didn’t want Sandy to know how troubled he was and that he’s afraid that she would know that … he didn’t love her anymore.

Mia.

That little girl suddenly came into his life. And he knew he had loved her from the moment she started smiling and let him in into her world.

From then on, it felt like Mia was his whole world. Everything was beautiful because of Mia. But at the same time, guilt consumed him. He already had Sandy. A pure, kind-hearted Sandy.

He loved Sandy at some point in time. He was sure of it. Who wouldn’t love Sandy? She’s everything you could hope for a girl. Smart, sweet, and funny. 

But she’s not Mia.

People must have thought that he’s crazy – Sandy is perfect, too perfect even. Why would he let his heart turn away from her? And how?

Liam sat down – he couldn’t answer those questions. He spent most of his nights feeling sorry for Sandy, for Mia. Blaming himself for being so clueless about how to control his feelings.

I just needed to get away from these, he thought a few days ago. He cut contact with Mia, he stopped seeing Sandy. He didn’t want to hurt anyone again.

“Liam!”

Liam froze. He couldn’t believe his ears. Was that Mia? 

Then came a hug from behind him. Mia’s voice – shaken because of tears.

“I love you, Liam. Don’t leave me. We can fight this together.”

Liam couldn’t say anything. His heart hurt. It was so painful to think that he’s now bringing Mia to a painful road ahead of them.

“Mia-”

“If you are willing to fight, I am too.”

Mia hug him even tighter. Spectators started to whisper. Few minutes that felt like an eternity passed.

“This is going to be a long road, Mia.”

Mia nodded. She knew that.

Liam held Mia’s hands. Whatever happened after this, he would be with her.

*

Note: I don’t know why I kept getting this kind of dream. Don’t you get tired of waking up feeling heartbroken and empty for the whole day, girl?

Day 3 – Yourself in 10 Years

Bismillah,

This is a hard topic. I honestly don’t like this kind of question cause I don’t exactly know what will happen in the future. But to be fair with this challenge…

First of all, perhaps I should think of which country I would like to be in 10 years.

I have few options: 1) Staying in Germany, 2) Moving to another country, 3) Going back for good

And all of them are .. possible in the future. If we were still staying in Germany in 10 years, my kids will be spending their teenage years here and most probably they will also be going to college here in Germany. Considering how different the education system here with Indonesia or any other countries, it’s only making sense that they are staying here for university. 

If we are moving to another country, we need to do that before the kids are moving upward to the higher tier of the education system here – so they will have more time to adjust with the new system, culture, and perhaps language. 

We might be moving back for good as well – but honestly, this is the least favorable option in my mind, simply because adjusting back to the old system is terrifying (at least for me). Not to mention that the infrastructure and bureaucracy back home are such a mess. 

But we’ll see. For now, I can’t say where I would be in 10 years – anywhere with my family, I guess.