So, hellow friends.
If we are connected at any of my social media, then you must have noticed (perhaps not?) that I have been feeling … disconnected for the past two weeks. I just don’t feel like connecting with anyone other than my inner circle cause of few happenings in my life recently.
You may laugh at me after you are finished with this writing – I don’t really mind. After all, what we define as precious things are different from each other. I may raise my eyebrows at you crying over your books collection and the same goes to you.
But our feelings when those things are gone is the same. We feel lost – and sometimes, need to crawl back into our nest to just mourn and grieve.
James Ingram’s passing
I didn’t really follow his career closely – but he was an important part of my childhood. I have a fond memory of his duet with Linda Rondstadt. And here’s my story.
Back when I was a kid, I learned English on my own and with the help of my Dad. It’s simply because it’s more convenient that way – and because we didn’t have enough fund to enroll me in an English course. That’s why, when there was a promotion for a free English lesson for top scorers in their school, I jumped into the occasion.
I still remember my teacher at that time – a pretty lady named Ms Indah. Once, out of the blue, I asked Ms Indah to teach us an English song. I heard that it’s a nice way to learn more English words beyond our grade. And besides, I like to sing.
She taught us this:
I loved it. The minute the song started, I was in love.
It remains a nice memory. Of the first English song that I learned on my own. And James Ingram’s voice soared in this. May he rest in peace.
The beginning of the end of Evangelion
Evangelion is weird. And the more I think about it – it’s even weirder. But it’s perhaps because I never had any mental breakdown like Anno did – thank God.
People might question my choice of anime – cause honestly I used to watch anime for its happy ending and not for its absurdity such as what Evangelion has. Evangelion was my first taste of what dark anime is and I must thank a certain magazine named Animonster for that.
Back in 2000 (or was it 2001?), Animonster had its special edition with a VCD (gosh I feel old) that has the first episode of Evangelion. I wasn’t interested at first but heck I bought the magazine with my own pocket money – I had to watch it at least once to know what I was paying for (the special edition cost me like 25k IDR ~ which was a LOT for a 14-year-old).
Off I went to watch – and my mind was… ruined. To say the least.
I was 14 and watching Evangelion was like a kick for my brain. Granted it was only the first episode, and Evageeks must have known that it was nothing compared to the next episodes. Yet, it still gave me a very long lasting impression. In fact, it was powerful enough to push me into learning Japanese. Yep, you heard that right. I learned Japanese because of the weird anime named Evangelion.
Needless to say, I spent the next few months
starving saving my pocket money to buy the licensed original VCD. It was subbed in Bahasa but they kept the original seiyuus – which was really helping me in learning Japanese lingos and all.
The original series ended long, long time ago. But in 2007, they made the new Rebuild series of Evangelion. It consists of 4 movies (yes, movies – shown in cinemas) and the third movie which is the recent one was out in 2012. There was no official news about the final movie afterward. Evageeks are used with having no news when it comes to Evangelion – Hideaki Anno is one weird guy.
Until a few months back when we suddenly had news on the official release year (yes, year) of the fourth and final movie. And apparently last week, there was an official party to kickstart the production.
— 緒方恵美@2/16-3/10LiveTour (@Megumi_Ogata) January 31, 2019
I am excited – and the subreddit is also excited. But at the same time, I couldn’t help but think that with this final movie, it means that this is the end of Evangelion – perhaps in this lifetime.
This anime has been such a big part of me growing up – and it’s the original push for me wanting to learn Japanese. To have it ended feels like I am giving up a part of me. I know it sounds silly but that’s just how I feel about it. The last of the series – the last of Evangelion.
This was the biggest blow of the last few weeks.
I never hide the fact that I am a major fangirl. I like obscure boybands, some JPop and Kpop singers, and so on. But with Arashi, it’s not just the usual fangirling. I have been their fan for the last 10 years. And to be completely honest, these guys had helped me passing through the hard times during my bachelor’s final year and even made me apply for MEXT Scholarship back in 2010. Heck, I own Japanese magazines with Arashi articles on it even though it’s only 1-2 pages while I couldn’t even read the rest of the magazines.
Sure like most fans out there, I swayed here and there. And ever since my kids were born, I haven’t followed their activities as close as before, but these dorks are like my other home. Whenever I am feeling bad, I will just watch their variety shows, and I will somehow feel better.
To hear that they are going to halt their group activities after 31 Dec 2020 and Ohno will be taking a break from show biz business was devastating. Especially when you heard the reason is due to Ohno wanted to try a normal lifestyle since he has been doing this for more than 20 years now.
The other four will still continue with their own individual activities, but it will never be the same when it’s not the five of them. The energy will be different – the aura and the comfort they have been providing will be no more.
For the first few days after that news, I was literally functioning like a robot. Thankfully my work kept me busy – but still, I felt like a piece of my youth is gone, again.
People say, the stronger your feeling is toward something, it’s gonna be harder to let it go. I am still not over my grief, but I will get through this, somehow.